When I was pregnant, so many people HAD to give me advice on what to do and what not to do when the baby was born.
You have to breastfeed.
You can only use Avent bottles.
Do NOT use formula!
Always have a routine.
They have to be in your room for 6 months.
Do not put them in your bed!
Make sure they have five layers of clothes on before going outside.
Better yet, don’t go outside.
Make every single person use hand sanitizer.
ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE! Don’t EVER BREAK THE ROUTINE!
I mean the list could go on. And honestly, some of the things I heard, yeah, they were very useful.
But the other stuff, it was almost like, please keep your opinions to yourself, because I do not have a kid yet and I am not taking notes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now – there are so many more important questions I would have liked to be answered instead of that other stuff that is way easier to find out.
Like – what’s the best way to get rid of binkies? How do you get them to not pee in their diapers at night when they don’t wear one all day? How much does a c-section really hurt? Am I going to be able to move after it? What in the fuck is hand foot mouth disease?
Those are questions that when given advice, I would have preferred answers to those. But those are things that no one wants to tell you.
I do know a few things from just being a parent, watching my friend be a parent and then seeing the product of good and bad parenting in my classrooms.
There are right and wrong ways to parent.
Unfortunately, the ones who choose to be a bad parent, aren’t people who would read articles like this or even have anyone to give them advice like I got during my pregnancy.
I am positive that I am parenting the right away – it may not be your way, but it is not the wrong way.
Teach. Workout. Love 
When my children were little and I got advice, I made an “advice box.” I would thank the person, write down what they said, and then drop it in the advice box when they weren’t looking. It was very helpful to not have to take all of that conflicting advice, but to just be able to get rid of it. It was also pretty entertaining to pull all of those opposite bits of advice out later and look them over: always breastfeed/never breastfeed; let your kids cry it out/ never let them cry it out, etc. Lesson learned: it’s all good. Just love your kids. You’ll know the right thing to do.
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That is a great idea! I totally should have done that – Definitely not all of it was garbage but at the same time, you need to take it in strides! Thanks for sharing!
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There are a lot of right ways to parent, aren’t there? And yes, people love to give advice. I could have told you about HFM Disease. It’s a rough one. We have a new puppy now and everyone likes to give advice about those too!
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So true. There are some right ways but not always do they all work for everyone
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I think being a parent is one of the most important commitments we’ll make in our lifetimes. What we do and say has so much impact on our littles. I’m sure you see the results of bad parenting in your classroom. When I see this, (I work at a school) it breaks my heart because that child’s life is going to be so much harder, through no fault of his own. I know it’s hard to listen to everyone give you advice, but take it as a positive. They’re trying to help you and relieve a little of their guilt at the same time, because as a parent, you’ll remember every mistake you made, even the little ones. 🙂
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I agree! Those poor kids they didn’t get the choice. It was made
For them. I see it everyday 😦
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It’s very sad, but I bet you are one of the bright spots in their lives! Keep on…keeping on! 🙂 You’ll be remembered. I guarantee it! 🙂
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I can only hope 🙂
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I have no kids but I’ve enjoyed others. It’s a tough, demanding job to be a parent, so I cheer you 🙂
Bonnie
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Thank you !
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I like the distinction in the last line. There’s no single right way, just your way.
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Thank you ! It’s so true
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It’s like advice about everything, really. I never wanted to hear advice about parenting, and sometimes it made me doubt myself. These days, on a good day, I can remind myself that the person just wants to share experience. On a bad day, I just feel miffed.
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So true. !
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If there was a ‘right’ way to parent the manual would have been printed now and distributed to all 12 yo! Sadly most of us end up repeating our parents mistakes even tho we swore not to … best thing is to be consistent. Good or bad then the kids can choose to be like you or not. It’s when parents fluctuate that the kids get confused, and remember whatever you do they will still love you after all you are their parent – well for at least the first few years anyway.
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I totally agree. Someone needs to write this manual !
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Yes it’s very sad that the most important job in life ‘parenting’ does not require any training, education or text books …
As a teacher and a parent maybe you could make a start?
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I totally should ! But maybe the second child, then I’ll really
Be an expert !
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Let me know when you do and I’ll buy a few copies to pass onto my relatives!?
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