SOL: The Mute Couple

I worked in restaurants, bars and coffee shops for years before becoming a teacher. 

I remember people watching at all of the places I worked. Being able to tell which couples were happy, which were not, which were really not, and the ones that were way too in love, newly in love, etc. 

It was easy to read the situation based on how the night went for them. As a customer service person in restaurants, bars and coffee shops, standing behind the counter and waiter stand, we would always talk about the customers. 

One thing in particular I do remember was the couples that would come in and wouldn’t talk to one another. I remember this in each setting because it always baffled me of why they would even be there together in the first place ? It was obvious they did not want to spend time together. I just really couldn’t understand why you would want to sit at a table with someone who you had nothing to say. Myself and other waiters would always talk about that couple, the mute, unhappy couple. Obviously we never knew the truth about why or what but the ambience around them was awful. But I always vowed, that would never be me. And anytime that ever happened with another person I went to dinner with, it never went much farther than that quiet dinner. This was quite a while ago. 

This memory comes to me not lightly. I have fallen into this scenario. The very one I said I wouldn’t be in. Who would have known? It scares me because it’s a real life thing and I don’t know how to make it go away. I am known for liking to talk and converse and when there is no reciprocal conversation, I find myself back to this memory, of those couples, sitting their in silence, with nothing to say. But not just at a table, all the time. Nothing to say. How can people converse without questions ? 

And don’t asking questions mean having a concern or interest in another ? 

I found this quote in this article:

“The trouble in our marriage wasn’t infidelity, it was fidelity with fatigue, a marriage gone soft and sour due to lack of attention. It was the lack of communication that nearly killed us.”

This website provides a great list of questions that you could ask to gather more information about your spouse if you have lacked communication. But they never mention about someone who complains they’re being asked too many questions. Tell me Marriages Mission International, how does one solve this ? 

And here we are. 

Mute. 

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