SOL: D4, Life is so Short

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My husband’s father passed away this week. He was young, 51. Very sad. We were not close to him unfortunately. My husband and him are very stubborn men and last year around this very same time they had a falling out, causing both men not to talk to each other. They stood their grounds. Neither gave in.

I cannot imagine what he feels. I do not know how to approach the situation with talking to him about it. I do not want to start saying things like this that maybe he hasn’t thought of or were never in his mind and I don’t want to be the one to bring them up.

I know he is hurting and I have no idea how to help. I feel very helpless. He wants to go to the funeral alone and  I am not sure if that is what a good wife should do or not.

In times of a loved one losing a life, there are so many questions unanswered and steps that should be taken that no one really knows what to do or how to do them. There is nothing you can say that can make things better or change anything.

Time just needs to heal. Right now this time is making them stronger and standing by their side. I hope I am doing the right thing and I hope I am helping and not making things worse.

 

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16 thoughts on “SOL: D4, Life is so Short

  1. So sorry to hear about our father-in-law’s passing and about the rift between your husband and his father. Sometimes life hands us a route with no map. Be a steadying presence for him. When he is ready, he will talk to you about it.

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  2. So sorry to hear about your loss. All yo can di for your husband is to be there for him and just listen when he is ready to talk. It is times like these when support is hard but much needed.

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  3. I’m so sorry for you, my heart-felt condolences. I was especially touched by your “good wife” phrase.

    You are a good wife. You care and are concerned about him. One thing I would consider, though, is telling him what you have told us in your 2nd and 3rd paragraphs.

    I have a stubborn husband, too. But I know my stubborn husband would appreciate my telling him something he can hold on to while he works this out on his own. In the months or year to come, he will turn to me and tell me he appreciated these words, even if he told me he needed to be alone at the time.

    I think this is how loving, stubborn men work. Somewhat. If I had a life-manual for them, maybe I’d write one – but, truly, I’m still figuring it out myself.

    In these later years (middle age), the ride has gotten easier, so I know my words will be helpful because they are straight from the heart..

    .. just like yours. I am so moved for you. God bless you and yours.

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  4. I’m so sorry for your loss and this difficult time. That is a tough one. I think you’re doing the right thing and you know your husband and what he needs. I love your title and it’s a great reminder that time is short and we all have to keep that in mind.

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  5. So sorry for your loss. It is so hard when people are estranged and haven’t found a way to reconcile. All you can do is be there for your husband and offer him your love and support.

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