Visitation Rights


Have you ever moved away from your family and friends? Have you went back to visit?

It is hard to imagine what I am saying unless you have lived it, but it’s very frustrating and I need to write it out to deal with my frustration.

Let me say this, I don’t expect people to put their lives on hold when I decide to come to visit. I am learning every time I come back, who is really going to make time to see me or how many places I will literally have to drive to in order to get some of my friends to see me.

Never did I think that I would have had some of the responses that I have had from me moving away, especially from people who have been in similar situations. Although I know people are not like me, but I just thought I was held to a higher standard than some have treated me. But then again, once I had my daughter, that all changed as well. So I am not sure why I am still surprised about this.

I guess surprised is not the right word; disappointed is probably the best word I can think of without cursing. Frustrating is another word, that I can use without cursing.

As if flying across the country with a toddler isn’t enough.

Every time I come back to visit I have to lower my expectations.  I cant assume that people will make time to see me. I can’t assume that I will be able to fit it in all in one time and be able to do all the things I want to do, in a short time. I need to just accept it is what it is and make my choices from there.

But why does it need to be like that?

Am I not important or good enough now that I don’t live on the east coast and won’t probably for a very long time?




Let it go Jen, Let it go.



8 thoughts on “Visitation Rights

  1. Your post really resonates with me. People simply don’t make time for each other. I know it’s true in my own life, and, I acknowledge that I am as much an offender in the situation as my friends. I am going to strive to do better on *my* end; my friends will have to make their own choices. I do hope you get to re-connect with some of your friends; it’s part of what makes going home so special. 🙂


  2. Unfortunately, I’ve learned to travel not for others but for myself. I’ve been teaching at international schools for 8 years and after the first two years of returning to the U.S. and expecting just as much joy and love as I felt about seeing friends and not receiving it, I realized that I could no longer travel for friends. So I make it about me and if I see people, great. If not, great. I feel you so much on this post. Leave expectations behind and life is soooo much easier.


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